Monday, September 30

Living where you live.

The last three photos were a progression of the sunset in a matter of, oh about 7 minutes. With the last one being just absolutely breath taking. If you can imagine, it was even more divine in reality.


I think it is very easy to set your mind on something and stick with it. Allow me to explain myself. I grew up in Arizona, so clearly, everything in Arizona was the best. Then as I moved on to Idaho I still dwelt on all of Arizona's fascinations, such as its sunsets (just one of many things). I would often think, "Oh this Rexburg sunset is pretty, but have you SEEN Arizona sunsets". 

We get into this loyal mind frame, that may become a little overbearing, dare I say a little too loyal? Don't get me wrong, everything about an Arizona sunset still gets to me to my very core, but for myself, it was inhibiting me from really sinking my feet into the place I stood. I look back on my time spent in Rexburg and I crave THOSE sunsets [no worries I still think of you too az sunset]. But only did I notice that once I moved away. 

What I am getting to is this, we can look at life and always wish for the past or the greener grass over "there" (wherever that is). But the truth is when you are looking beyond your own you are, metaphorically speaking, "watering" that grass, "their or that" grass. Inhibiting the place you stand to be worthy of your own water, i.e. thoughts and happiness. 

Trials come, moves transpire, and well, life happens. It is in these moments that we must recognize that the grass is green where we stand. If we cannot make the grass under us green then we will be unhappy, plain and true. It may take time and it may take hard work, but in the end, it is well worth the effort of loving where you are. Make every moment in life, no matter where you are, a self fulfilled one. Be happy where you are and make the best of it.

I wanted, after all my professing, I actually wanted to not like Spokane or Washington in general. I wanted to have my time in Washington be a 4 year sentence of my husband in dental school, and that's it. Then as I was trying to be happy and make the grass green where I stood, I accidentally started to love it. I started love Spokane. Miracles might just happen when you allow yourself the room for new opportunities and/or growth in a trial.

I hope I have not lost you in all my talk of metaphors and deep personal feelings, if you are still with me, all I am getting at is love where you live, or more importantly where you are in life. Then, my friends, you will be filled with joy and energy that may not be felt without first accepting your place in life.

-Amber


Friday, September 27

sleepless nights and such

Have you ever been so excited about something that you can't sleep at night?
Also, have you ever been so excited that all you do is dream about that something all night?
This week, I experienced both. It was awesome, naturally. Only is it the worst when you can't sleep out of nerves, for a test or work, or fear of not hearing your alarm - - for said test or work. 

My excitement has been of my new sewing machine!! While at BYU-Idaho I discovered a passion of mine, that being to sew. Not only sewing but everything that goes along with it such as picking fabric at the store, to pressing (ironing), to making up quilt designs, to...okay I will admit, cutting is not my favorite. But only because it takes so much brain power. I am lucky to have my amazing Kasey who helps me with the math of it all [and sometimes the cutting and designs, who am I kidding, he is my right-hand man]. 

I have been thoroughly enjoying my time with "miss" Bernina the past couple of days, and I know we will have years [and some] of fun together.

[photo from Instagram: My sewing station]
 [Miss Bernina herself, with gingher trying to get a shout out...best scissors around]
 New toys, its serious. 
New fabrics to create with.
I also spend a good amount of time here. 

I will soon be opening an Etsy shop. Stay tuned for that wonderfully delicious day. I probably won't be able to sleep when that happens. {should happen before the new year}

-Amber

Monday, September 16

Rainy Monday's

I think for some people, starting out the week with rain has a bad omen, but for me, it was just what I needed. Well that and a little out door adventure. I went with a friend on a walk today and if these pictures don't convince you [friends and family] to come visit me, then.... I will just keep on posting pictures.
things to notice: stream, golf course, fog, and then all of its brilliance when compiled in one picture

 Maybe you can not tell, but that is a cute little farm with a barn down there

Just stumbled upon a beautiful golf course
[above and below]


 Have I mentioned how much we love Spokane? Well we do, and this weather may be a glimpse into the love I will have for Seattle. Come visit me, it will be fun!
-Amber

If the lush green didn't get you maybe this sunset will, it was taken on campus where Kasey goes to school. Happy Monday.


Saturday, September 14

A Friend Who Explains It Perfectly

This picture has nothing to do with the post, its just us. It is from Cars Land in California Adventure

It is always nice to hear what other people are going through and to know, exactly, what they are saying. It helps to feel loved, understood, and helps me be more empathetic. Not that I wish my trials on other people, for real that would be just straight up terrible, but it is a comfort to have a friend in the same boat.

This seems to be a very common thing, as of late, or maybe since I am in the thick and thin of it I pick up on it more. Either way, this is only meant to help others feel loved, if going through the same thing, while also expressing my deepest and truest emotions [although it is through the writings of a dear friend, Kiri Jensen-- to read her entire blog post click here]. It is amazing how well she has captivated Kasey and my emotions... literally to a T. I read this portion of her blog that I am posting below and he just kept saying, "That is exactly us".

So here it is, here is what she said as if it came out of my very own heart and mouth: thank you kiri

This has been THE MOST challenging trial of my life. It has been physically draining & emotionally exhausting. I have always felt like I can achieve anything I want to with hard work. This is something that has made me realize that not EVERYTHING is accomplished with just hard work. I have gone through the lowest of lows. I have feared never being able to see a positive pregnancy test, experience pregnancy, giving birth, birthdays, 1st days of school, basketball practices, blessings, baptisms, etc. I have ached as I watch how amazing my husband is with children & know that opportunity is not within at least 9 months of happening for him. I have ached as I watch friends & family experience these things. I have felt that I have lost something I have never had. I have ached as I have watched crappy moms neglect their children & ungrateful teenagers get pregnant.  I have ached as I have gotten to know others with similar situations - or gotten to know similar situations of those I already know. I have hurt for people that have struggled with this trial much longer than we have. I have hurt watching people take being able to get pregnant & have children for granted. I have hurt hearing others make comments about how hard their lives are with children/pregnancy (but have come to understand these are really hard trials for people too & worked really hard to know these comments aren't meant to hurt me & try not to let them). I have felt left behind as I watch close friends & family get pregnant & give birth in the time we have been trying. I feel left behind as I watch girls younger than me & those that have been married less time than we have get pregnant & give birth. I have been angry, I have felt like God is not listening to my prayers. I have felt alone. I have hurt when people that have children but are struggling to have more try to tell me they know what it feels like - no one knows what it feels like to not know if you will ever have even just ONE child with their own DNA & genetics unless you have struggled with infertility. Or when people who it took a few months think they know what it's like. I have ached when people have born testimony of "how blessed they are to have been given a special gift of a baby" -do I not deserve to be blessed? Knowing that I will more than likely have children one way or another does not make going through this challenge easier, but each day I feel like I am learning & growing stronger. 

She put down the every emotion I have felt in the past two and a half years. It has been a crazy time for us but we are so grateful for wonderful friends and family who make it easier. Like Kiri, we are not ones to go around broadcasting this to the world, but in certain circumstances and situations it does come up. It is an actual part of our world and a part of us and therefore has to be said at some point in a friendship. But just to update those who would like to know, we have a Dr. appointment with a specialist in October. Although we did testing about a year and a half ago, we feel further steps need to be taken.

I am grateful I was able to go to school and get my degree and I am truly grateful for where we are in life. I am a happy person, or try to be; I don't want this to make me depressed or unhappy, although somedays are harder than others. Thank you for reading this, it is very personal but like I said, it makes us who we are.

-Amber

Wednesday, September 11

"A Proper Romance"

I have a serious obsession, that being my love of book reading. But I am not going to talk about just any book today, I am going to be addressing my favorites. If you follow me on instagram, you already know and now you are just getting annoyed of me, but hear me out and take heed to my final proposal
- - Read. Them. After all, they are, "A Proper Romance".

Not even joking. It will captivate you and she is so wonderful at making you feel the emotions of the characters. You will find yourself longing for long dresses, fancy dinner attire, olden day english vocabulary, open land, an awareness of yourself, horses, a large estate to call your own, passion, happiness, and many more things that will make you swoon [actual definition: faint from extreme emotion... I did not literally faint, but man was the extreme emotion there.] 

Julianne Donaldson is captivating and all together astonishing. You will not want to miss out on these books, trust me. This is no lie either, they are making Edenbrooke into a movie. Be excited, read the book, and then be utterly ecstatic. You're welcome, in advance.

Here is a link to both of the books on amazon. I am on round two for Edenbrooke and hope I get them both for Christmas, wink wink to my love.
xoxo
Amber

Oh and if you wanted to read more about the author click here.
I secretly wish we were friends and that I could write like her, maybe even both. 




Sunday, September 8

stand up & share the love

Spokane has been good to us. We love the people we are meeting. Life is good. I am not one to normally talk about or share my religious beliefs, but I feel the need to today and from here on out. Last night we went to a large group meeting, called Stake Conference. It was amazing. It was our first time attending one in Spokane and we sure felt the love. There were wonderful people who gave incredible, touching stories of how they were converted to living the gospel, whether they were re-activated members or a first time member of 1 year. It was beautiful. 

So I can do nothing short of share what I felt and what I heard. 

Something that stood out to me was how important it is, as LDS members, to live the gospel and show it and then... share it. Many of the conversion stories did not come directly from the missionaries, but it was the members who reached out and then involved the missionaries. We need to stand up and not be afraid to help our neighbors or family and be examples. Now, I am not saying only be friends to get them to church, but rather be genuinely kind, always, even if they turn down what you are trying to offer. One of the speakers gave a list of three things that every new member or any member needs:

    1. A friend in the church - - someone to talk to and share their true feelings with
    2. An assignment
    3. To be nourished by the word of God
As I have two siblings out on missions right now, I see what hard work it is to be a missionary. I can feel the sacrifice it is for them, not only to be away from family, but to have so much love for the people they are serving only to have those people say "no" or reject something that is so close to their heart. Then, just like clock work, each and every day they are blessed with the spirit of the Lord and they are able to continue in light and happiness. They need, no, they rely on the member missionaries to help! The work must go on and it is with great haste, lets be a part of it. 

During the meeting yesterday there was a moment when it was quiet and one woman stood and started singing The Spirit of God. As each new line came someone else would randomly stand in the audience until the entire congregation was standing and singing in unison with such power and love that I felt my heart might burst with joy (unbeknownst to anyone sitting around me a little tear was shed). It will be a forever cherished moment. This is the feeling we can all have when we stand together and profess what we know to be true with those family members and friends you think you should help but never have the courage to. 
 Sister Sandall is in the middle, i LOVE her.
Elder Kivett, my little big brother, i LOVE him. 
[Don't I have the cutest siblings ever, I miss them.]

There were a few family members and friends that I thought of last night. Be an ordinary person who will do extraordinary things. Stand up and share the love.
-Amber



Tuesday, September 3

Labor Day

The Hendricks family has a tradition: boating and bulls. 
Two things that start with "b" to celebrate labor day.
Usually we cannot attend because we lived so far away, but now that we are only 3 hours away,
you bet your bottom dollar we were there. 
And, it was awesome. 
Fun
Sun
Boating
Extreme Bulls
Cruisin'
and if you know me you know we are just going to have to mention FOOD! 

Thanks mom and dad hendy for a much too perfect weekend 
{even if we did have to
 "come out of the closet" -K 
every morning}. 


{I have somehow claimed the Chevelle to be my "baby" so I always get to drive him}
Selfie slef picture in the back seat of the 'burb headed to the Rodeo
{This is Kelly, brother-in-law, and Jenna, soon-to-be sister. He should be a real cowboy. I was shocked all night at how well he pulls off the look}
My little flipper fish who loves the water.

 {what happened to me above? no eyes}

 {grandma was a trooper and came along, she even got in the water}

And just to let it be known, I fully submerged myself in the Columbia River on September 2nd 2013, it only took me 3 1/2 years to work ip the courage.
-Amber